Top 10 Powers for the President

Now the Philippine President Noynoy Aquino is in real trouble. Aside from the skyrocketing prices of oil, food and just about anything, the non-performing economy, the non-arrival of promised investments, a deadlock with the judiciary, he is faced with a serious problem which his cheerleaders press machinery cannot simply shrug off: power (I mean energy, electricity) crisis.  For a month now, the southern part of the Philippines is experiencing shortage of power of about 8 to 10 hours a day. Imagine that — I couldn’t even last without electricity for an hour!

Much to his dismay, the President needs to cut back on his “noynoying” time to address the problem before it gets out of control. The Philippine Congress’ lower house was quick to propose the granting of “special powers” to the President to help him stem the looming power crisis. We don’t really know what they mean by special powers, but in the spirit of volunteerism and participatory decision-making, the Congress could use some help in determining which powers the President should have. Below are some suggestions:

#10. Energy Manipulation – This includes the ability to absorb power, like X-Men’s Rogue, and transfer power to another, just like what John Smith did to Number Six when she ran out of energy in the movie, “I am Number Four.” If President Noynoy has this power, he could just suck in energy from other places in the world and channel it to Mindanao. He could also use this to energize his Cabinet.

#9. X-ray Vision – The President could use this Superman’s power to see what Grace Lee  is wearing underneath. C’mon the President needs to be inspired to be able to deal with the demands of his position! And yes, with x-ray vision he will still be able to see Mindanao at night amidst power outages. He could also use it to see through bank vaults and find out how much money Chief Justice Renato Corona is hiding.

#8. Weather Control – Another X-Men power, Storm can cause rain, thunder or a twister when she uses this. With this power, the President will then be investing in hydroelectric plants in Mindanao to sustain a steady supply of power. He will not only be able to bring in rains but also control it so the country will no longer suffer from devastating floods. He could also subdue the fire that razed a mall in Caloocan City way better than the fire department which took 80 hours to stop it. Or he could use this power to neutralize his enemies with lightning strikes.

#7. Clairvoyance – By being able to see the future like Alice Cullen in Twilight, President Noynoy will be able to know if the power crisis will be solved without his intervention or plunge the economy to greater depths. If what will happen is the former, then the President may just sit back, relax and watch the invisible hand at work. However, if it’s going to be the latter, well he has the option to resign before hell breaks loose or appoint his Vice-President as the chief energy troubleshooter (and ruin his presidential bid, as well).

#6. Shield – Just like Twilight’s Bella Swan and Fantastic Four’s Sue Storm, President Noynoy may project powerful force fields that will shield him and his administrations from critics who never run out of destructive comments about every little thing they do. This will also enable them to do their job without distraction and save the country from stupid press releases showing the President carrying a stack of folder or reading without eyeglasses.

#5. Teleportation – Just like X-Men’s Nightcrawler, this power will enable President Noynoy to move from one place to another in split seconds and attend to various problems all over the archipelago. With this, people in Mindanao will no longer feel neglected because the President is with them. This will also allow President Noynoy to sneak into Grace Lee’s quarters, even without her knowing it; get past bank vaults to Justice Corona’s deposits; and never miss parties held by his security group and friends.

#4. Invisibility – A power of Sue Storm and Harry Potter’s gift, this will enable President Noynoy to secretly investigate his opponents and disappear in the middle of a controversy. On second thought, he may already have this ability because he could be nowhere to be found during critical times, such as the Luneta hostage-taking and onslaught of typhoons, among others. 

#3. Telepathy – This could be in the form of mind reading, like what Edward Cullen could do,  or the power to manipulate minds like Renesmee Cullen and Dr. X. If President Noynoy has this power, he would be able to shape the decisions of major energy industry players and dissuade his critics from attacking him with his mind, without really performing any motion. Well, I think he already knows how to not do anything, but the key for this power to be effective is he should learn how to use his brain really hard.

#2. Telekinesis –  This is advanced telepathy because this involves not just manipulating minds but making mind prevail over matter. Jean Grey is a class 5 mutant because of her ability to move objects with her mind. Imagine President Noynoy having this! He wouldn’t have to move at all. He could even make his enemies do things they’d rather die than be caught doing, like Justice Corona admitting in national TV that he owns 45 properties not to mention those he has abroad. But then again, he needs to learn how to think hard first before mastering this ability.

#1. The Power to Turn Back Time – President Noynoy could use this power to return to the time when power was not yet a problem and focus on reforms in the energy sector. He could also use it to go back to the time when he was prodded to run for the presidency and decide otherwise. This way, he would have all the freedoms he used to enjoy without being under the scrutiny of the public such as playing PlayStation Portable (PSP) 24 hours straight in a day. Who knows, we won’t be having this problem in the first place!

If you could give the President any of these power(s), which would you choose?