My Top 10 I Believe’s

When I was taking my second post-graduate course, our professor instructed us to come up with top 10 things we believed in. I thought it was corny and totally unrelated to the course, but it was a good exercise. My recent outdoor adventure afforded me some time, with the help of glorious scenes that filled my mind, to contemplate and revisit the 10 things I believe in or more like my philosophies in life, my idiotsyncrasies…

#10. I believe that about 60 percent of married couples stay together for convenience, and not because they are madly, deeply in love with each other.

I don’t have statistical evidence for this claim, but in the age of divorce and annulment, I think it is pretty easy to break up a marriage once incompatibilities set in. Ever heard of “opposites attract”? This is cute only if you’re talking about teenage love. My high school teacher once said that sex is only good for 10 minutes, so find a partner with whom you can talk about anything under the sun when you grow old. Now, I’m beginning to think she’s right (not that I’m that old). When the passion dries up, you’ll notice how you’re incompatible with one another, so you end up looking for other passion. Unless it’s convenient for you to stay in the relationship — either you experience mutualism or commensalism. Don’t know what these mean? Google it.

#9. I believe that “hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.”

Men are susceptible to women’s revenge because of their weakness named after them: the male ego. Men were made to believe that because Adam was created first, women should fulfill their wishes. Of course we now know that is BS. In fact, their overemphasized self-importance made them a weaker specie — all a woman needs to do to get back at a man is to do exactly what the man does not want her to do.  A man can stare at a bitc woman who is not his significant other simply because he thinks it is his inborn right to appreciate beauty and never get confronted for it. If you’re a woman, try doing the same thing and I assure you it will only take less than five seconds for your man to be seriously pissed.

#8. I believe in karma.

Again, there is no scientific study which could really prove this. But this is a good philosophy to live by . According to a school of thought, humans are predisposed to seek happiness and avoid pain. An adulterated version of the Confucian saying goes: if you want to be happy and don’t want to experience pain, then do not cause pain to others because it will go back to you someday. If you refrain from doing bad things to others, then you’ll be able to live freely and feel less guilt, which should be an unfavorable feeling. But if you have sadistic tendencies and you find happiness in making others feel miserable, then, this does not apply to you, and if you’re that  person, then I seriously think you should go to hell.

#7. I believe in heaven and hell.

I know, I suffer hell everyday. I wonder when I’d get to see the other side. This is like the “yin and yang,” the best and the worst , the extremes which we go through in our daily lives. We don’t need to die to experience heaven and hell. Associated with heaven and hell are the concepts of reward and punishment, respectively. When you do good, you get rewarded, you get a taste of heaven (vacations, bigger pay, etc.), and vice-versa. There has to be a goal or a destination in the path we take: heaven or hell. Yes, it feels good to do something bad sometimes, but what is bad is relative. It is only bad if it adversely affects others. In other words, watching porn doesn’t count unless you would want to try what you watched to unconsenting individuals — that’s rape. It could be heaven for the rapist but it is the beginning of a life of hell for the victim. But whatever bliss the rapist gets is temporary, because the ultimate hell is waiting for him from death penalty.

#6. I believe that nothing is constant in this world except death and taxes.

You drink, eat, move, and always get taxed. You lead a boring or exciting life, you still die. So death and taxes are the two inevitables or constants in any person’s life. It is important to note that while you fall prey to these two, everything else in the world changes. Your friends today may not be there tomorrow, especially if you happen to become jobless, penniless and utterly useless the next day. In the same vein, everything you have right now could disappear in the blink of an eye, so don’t hold on to it as if it’s all that matters to you. Give your money and possesions away to the governme charity or to a good cause. At least, when you die you leave a legacy behind.

#5. I believe that the children are our greatest legacy.

No offense meant to those who can’t bear a child. But for parents out there, it is how you are as a parent that matters, not just how you are as a provider. Giving birth to a child is not just a consummation of an unprotected sexual act. It takes a lot of responsibility not only because you need to feed, clothe and buy expensive gadgets for your child, but because you need to educate the child on how he or she should relate to others. Education is first a function of the family, the schools only supplement. It is not enough that you are able to provide the latest technology for your child’s use, it is more about guiding your child so that technology could not corrupt. Your child is your contribution to the world, so the kind of children you raise speaks of what kind of  a person you are. That being said, we now know that Adolf Hitler’s parents did a great injustice to mankind. You may now cite your own examples.

#4. I believe that life will be a lot easier if I will be true to myself.

It’s exactly why my life is difficult and why I maintain a blog . Much as I’d like to be true to myself, I could not, because I have to be mindful of others’ feelings. I can just walk in the office and tell someone to drop dead and get lost. But that will cost me my job. By some degrees I am doing myself a favor by being true about manageable things  and get rid of a lot of emotional baggage. For example, my husband knows I am not that enthusiastic about having hanky-panky anymore (so he looks for creative ways to lure me). That way, I wouldn’t have to fake orgasms. The challenge really is finding the manageable level of being true which would result in minimal pain to others and optimal benefit to oneself in terms of less life’s complications.

#3. I believe that what is simple is never too simple.

How often do we hear people saying that they only want a simple life? Ernst Engel once said that as your income rises, you tend to spend on other stuffs you think are necessities but are actually not — or something to that effect. When you were only earning this much, you wish to earn a little more so you can provide a decent, simple life for your family. When you earn a little more, you wish that you can earn some more so that your family could live decently, yet simply. C’mon! If we return to the basics, simple life should mean being able to send your children to school and putting food on the table. And then we argue about what kind of school and which food we eat. Can we live on bread alone?  Not anymore. “Simple” is a much abused word because we use it as if we know it , but we cannot really define it. Its definition is limitless.

#2. I believe that we cannot have everything that our hearts desire.

So settle for second best. Stay in the relationship because it’s better than breaking up.  Succumbing to passion is not sustainable, and oftentimes gives you hell. If you bear a child, focus your passion on bringing them up as if doing justice to the society. Learn contentment and be happy with what you have and have become without, as much as possible, compromising others’ happiness. Accept the truth: it is probably as good as it gets. Know your strengths and use them to your advantage. Set manageable targets. Live one day at a time. You will die anyway.

#1. I believe that life is short.

About half of the people close to me in the office have cancer. Most of them devoted their lives to work. After years of being slaves, they got promoted, but at the expense of broken families or not being able to make a family at all. Will I follow their footsteps? Hell, no! I have decided to live my life to the fullest but promise to never lose sight of my reachable goals and forget my values. Little by little, I know I will get by. Heaven awaits me. Meanwhile, I choose to be happy. For whatever that means.