Top Ten Erap Jokes

Siempre, para kwela dapat may Erap Jokes. Here are my favorites:

#10

After finishing the main course at lunch meeting with Clinton.
Erap is asked if he would like another serving.

Erap replies politely: “No thank you. I’m fed up already.”

#9

Teacher: Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?

Erap: Carabao, ma’am!

Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?

Erap: How about another Carabao?

#8

Erap: Hello, I will like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco?

Operator: Just a minute sir…

Erap: Thank you! (klik).

#7

Erap taking a bath nang biglang lumindol. He ran outside the Beverly Hotel without his clothes on.

Guard: Mr. President! I think you forgot something…

Erap: Ay sh*t! Yung wristband ko!

#6

Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap,  “I haven’t met your wife. Where is she?”

Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap, “Oh, my wife just passed away.”

#5

Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light (as driver switches on the parking light)

Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.

Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)

Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.

Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)

Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…

#4

One particular day many years ago, Erap’s wife was having labor pains. Erap panicked so he called their doctor.

Erap: Hello, doc. My wife is in labor!

Doc: Is she in a lot of pain?

Erap: Yes, doc!

Doc: Is this the first baby?

Erap: No, doc. This is Erap!

#3

“What time does the library open?” Erap on the phone asked.

“Nine A.M. ” came the reply. “And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?”

“Not until nine A.M.?” Erap asked in a disappointed voice.

“No, not till nine A.M.!” the librarian said. “Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?”

“Ha, who said I wanted to get in?” Erap sighed sadly. “I want to get out!”

#2

The Abu Sayyaf were looking for FVR, GMA and Erap, who all  hid inside a sack each.

The rebels kicked FVR’s sack, and FVR said:  “Arf! Arf!”

The rebels moved to GMA’s sack and kicked it, GMA said:  “Meow! Meow!”

The rebels moved to Erap’s sack and kicked it, and Erap  said: “Patatas! Patatas!”

#1

FVR, Cory and Erap, are about to be executed in front of a firing squad. Each of them is blinfolded and given the chance to call upon the forces of nature to save them.

The executioner starts the countdown: “10, 9, 8,….”. FVR shouts, “Flood!”. In a sudden, a big wave came. FVR was able to escape because of the commotion.

It’s Cory’s turn. She shouts: “Earchquake!”. The people watching the execution panicked. She was able to escape.

Erap was wondering what calamity to call. The executioner started counting again: “10, 9, 8, 7….”. Erap had a mental block. “5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” Erap shouted: “Fire!”

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Posted on March 10, 2012, in Pang-araw-araw na Kalokohan, Top 10 and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Thanks, very nice joke… now Mayor (2b) Erap (Manila). I’d like to share this to my friends at Fan box.

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